Body Shaming: Are You A Victim or Perpetrator?
Body shaming takes place more often than we think and with those closest to us – friends and families. Sometimes, it can go undetected because it can come from people who care about us and are sometimes coming from a place of care and concern. In fact, more important to note is that most people don’t know that they are body shaming. That’s why I believe it is necessary to define what it means to body shame.
“Body Shaming is the action or practice of humiliating someone by making mocking or critical comments about their body shape or size – Google”
Certain remarks about features of my body in past times have made me uncomfortable. An example of such time was when my teeth got picked on a lot and as such, I earned the name rabbit teeth. Read all about it in Misplaced Identity: Girl In the Mirror. I also mentioned how I felt uncomfortable with my height in Junior Secondary School. Although, this wasn’t in reference to my body size, passing through those phases enabled me to develop a thick skin towards unsolicited comments about my body.
My friends recently made “mocking” statements about my body size. I acknowledge that the statements were not made with the intent to hurt me. On one of such days, my skinny legs were the point of reference. I was advised to stop wearing trousers that pronounced this feature. It became a reoccurring comment and then I decided that wasn’t healthy.
After a conversation with two of my friends, I was reminded of the fact that more flesh means “sexy” and I needed to have more flesh in certain body parts. One friend remarked that she needed the body to keep her man during winter (husband – she isn’t married) warm. I jokingly replied and said, well, that’s why he has a jacket. However, I began to give more thoughts to this subject – Body Shaming and how it happens more often than we think.
Of course, I understand that family members who have made reference to my body size have simply done it because they believe that a small body size is synonymous to bad diet. I agree that I have a bad diet. However, I believe my size fits my body perfectly, as such when uncalled references are made concerning my body size I shrug them off. That is how you should feel too.
Here is how to know when you are being body shamed and actions to take:
1. If you think you are been body shamed, there are high chances that you really are
Chances are that when you start to feel like a family member/friend isn’t coming from the place of love as regards remarks about your body size, they really may not be. Reflect on their comments about your size and why you think it is humiliating.
Action: You should speak with persons involved. The chances are they may not know they are body shaming.
2. Consistent remarks on your physical features
Consistent mocking remarks about your body size is body shaming. I know some people just love to tease but then they need to know when to exercise caution. Friends like to play around but must be careful about consistently making hurtful and inappropriate statements.
Action: Surround yourself with positive people. Also, talk to such friends as they may not be aware that they are body shaming.
3. If you feel uncomfortable, chances are that you are being body shamed
Often times mocking remarks about your body can make you very uncomfortable. Remarks about your body that makes you feel uncomfortable don’t always translate to body shaming. That’s why you need to reflect on the comments and decide why you feel uncomfortable or humiliated by the comments.
Action: Be comfortable in your body.
This is not to promote paranoia and cause you to weigh every single remark about your body. Take appropriate actions if ever you find yourself in such a situation. Also, remember:
[bctt tweet=”You define what beauty is” username=”shalomtruthsmag”]
You are unique and beautiful. Created in God’s own image. But do not hesitate to get rid of unhealthy habits. I for one decided that one unhealthy habit I need to get rid of is my lack of exercise.
Do you know what habits you need to get rid of? What do you think about body shaming? Let’s hear from you in the comment section.
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