Dealing with Heartbreak

Lately, I have seen the adverse effect of heartbreak on a number of people and it is heart rendering. My heart really reaches out to people who have been in this state and one way or the other it has left them as bitter/untrusting individuals.

I can’t claim to understand really. I have not been in that position although I came close to being in such a situation once and it wasn’t a pleasant one, to begin with, but looking back I can’t help but thank God for saving me ahead of time.

So I’d say one of the first steps of overcoming heartbreak is being thankful. It’s really very hard to be thankful in such a situation but it’s better him/her walks out on you now and not in marriage. So thank God for saving you from eminent danger.

For me, I often prayed to God to make it very hard for me to say Yes to the wrong person and say No to the right person while growing up. At that point, God answered my prayers I really didn’t understand. Years later I could say it was you, Lord! I have also often been told that the first person you enter a relationship with cannot be the first person you marry. Well, I can’t help but think that most of this myth have been as a result of one heartbreak or the other. Most of this myth have risen due to one heartbreak or the other and may stop others from having a positive view of relationships.

Some of these myths are – “Don’t marry a Yoruba man they are prone to cheating” “All men cheat” “You are in a relationship, you are definitely going to get heartbroken” “The devil you know is better than the angel you don’t know”. A lot of these statements come from bitter/heartbroken people.

I have always had this question in my head – Why do relationships break? I may never understand why and I don’t think it’s ever a pleasant experience. The rate at which relationships go into thin air these days are rather scary. So for anyone experiencing such here is what I’d advice:

1. Be thankful – God saved you! I have looked back at some very traumatizing situation and discovered it happened for a reason.

2. Be useful to others – I am sure you can use those rejections to help someone in that same situation. Having a mindset that I can help others can be a way of getting out of the heartbreak zone.

3. Know that your value has not reduced just because him/her didn’t see it – This is something to hold on to because the first thought that comes to mind is I wasn’t good enough! Well, what if you were and that person could not see it at that time doesn’t mean it wasn’t there. We all have our excesses and that’s why we are a work in progress. I don’t know of anyone who knows it all. We learn daily.

4. Ask for God’s help – He mends broken hearts Isaiah 61:1. He is the best person to talk to and may lead you to the right person to pour your heart to.

5. Don’t be bitter – It stops what God has in store for you! Bitterness doesn’t open you up to God’s help. It also makes it as fresh as the day it happened which means daily pain.

6. Forgive – click here to read on forgiveness and letting go.

7. Trust – Trust God to lead you aright. I think one of the mindset of heartbreak is where do I start from? How can I ever find another? Trust God to lead you aright again.

8. Love – Don’t rob the right person of Love. Don’t rob yourself of Love. You still have the capacity to love.

Well, I can’t say I understand what you are going through right now. I have almost been in a relationship is quite different from being in one and losing it. I can only say trust God as the best person to lead you in this period. Also, know that one bad person doesn’t make all others bad. Don’t let this situation make you a bitter person. That door was closed for a reason don’t bother opening it. Move on. God has a better plan.

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