Deep Thoughts: Finding the Right Rhythm
Sometimes it is not so easy to express my thoughts in a way others would consider meaningful or even sane. For example, I am sitting in the toilet and staring at my eyes in the mirror thinking if the whites of my eyes could see without the brown eyeball and I spend time struggling to confirm my thoughts and making different eye motions I could do with me as the only audience. Please do not let my secondary school science teacher know I am just finding this out after drawing a sketch of the eye so many times then. And yeah before you go ahead and try, we can’t see the white part.
Another example is me waking up to the thought of touching my toes and how that process of bending could be translated to a form of humility meaning anybody is capable of being humble as far as they can bend to touch their toes. I am glad I did not dwell on this thought as I found no profound reasoning behind it.
Let’s not also forget the random thoughts that can’t be fully be expressed, my thoughts of the magical future or the sudden excitement I feel while taking a bath and the resulting giggle or the thoughts of the traffic police sending a bus/car causing traffic off the road with a single punch and heroically freeing the road.
On a serious note, when I sift through my thoughts through the week, I become helpless finding a lot of them to be like the ones cited above. I then start thinking of a short paragraph that would convey how thoughtfully thoughtless I had been. But I guess it is not the time yet as I came across a thought worthy to dwell on and probe further.
As December approached I could not help but reflect on how I felt last year December in comparison to how I feel now. I saw the end of last year constantly thinking I haven’t done all I could before the year ended. I felt there was more I could do and didn’t want the year to end. I then launched into the New Year with that thought and kept thinking I was still in 2014 in the first few weeks of the New Year.
It had felt like I was running out of time and I had to do something to hold back time. I tell you if I had drawn upon my inner Superman, I could have but then we all know how reality is. I can’t pinpoint when exactly I made a change in my thought process and finally accepted I was in 2015 nonetheless I can sure tell that when I did, I wasn’t so much in a rush no more. I started pacing through each day and each activity as it came. I was not panicking over not having enough time or feeling like I could have done more and I actually discovered that I was doing much more than I could have thought.
However, as I prepared to enter the last month of the year, I realized my thoughts were on the opposite lane. I was thinking I had too much time on my hand and panicking, yes I was panicking over not being able to use it effectively. I started thinking that life was meant to be fast paced and here I was taking my time going through it. Could it be I had grown lazy from my pacing and needed to run some more, do I need more activities to fill my time or do I need less time?
Ironic isn’t it? Last year I thought I didn’t have enough time and this year… I am really thankful I saw the light quick enough before I made some rash decisions. I listened to the NBCC BayArea sermon series on Breathing Room: Living a Life with Margin and realized I had been handed a gift from God. A gift a lot of people are searching for. I have been enjoying breathing room which allows me to live a life of deep joy and high quality. No wonder I have been having a lot of what I call ‘Lalalalala Moments’. Moments when I am humming a tune in my head with a goofy smile on my face and a lilt in my steps. Moments of blissful peace.
“You have enough time to do all that God wants you to do in the way God wants you to do it”
These words by Pastor Tilden Fang from his teaching on Margin and Time opened my eyes to see that I was actually living life with that principle without knowing it and I became really grateful for the gift of Grace given to me. Yes, we want to reach the top and someone like me I want to explore what’s on the top but the best way to do so is not to race there just as everyone else but to find my own rhythm and set a pace before climbing/flying to the top. By doing this I know I won’t get weary and end up not even fulfilling my goals or not having enough strength to enjoy the fulfillment because I have collapsed on reaching there.
It bears saying again that I do have enough time to do what God wants me to do the way He wants me to do it. So Grace, take your time and do not panic if your pace has a different rhythm with that of the world. It is the right rhythm just for you.
I would really like for you to listen to these messages too and learn more about living a life of deep joy and high quality just the way God desires us to live. Find the series in the link below:
http://www.nbccbayarea.com/sermon-series/breathingroom/
Jaa Mata!