Deep Thoughts: Musings On The Blame Game

I had nothing to write about this week, I sat for hours today thinking about what could possibly have elicited deep thoughts in my mind. Nothing came to fore and I had to remind myself of the need to always be consistent and not give room for slacking. Consequently, I delved deeper into my past thoughts, trying to pull out anything worthy of my pen. I had a couple of puzzling topics but none seemed to carry depth. However, I wasn’t going to give up so I decided to let one out and leave it for the world to decide its depth.

I was musing on why we easily tend to pass the blame onto others. The event that led to this thought wasn’t so remarkable but I would go ahead and share it in hope that you may laugh along with me at my own silliness. I have been planning on purchasing a pair of shoes for a while now and just a few days ago, I decided to do so after sighting a pair that looked nothing like what I would usually buy but being in the mood for something different, I went against sound judgement and made the purchase. On getting home, I found out that I had bought mismatched pairs, one shade was slightly lighter than the other. I quickly went on a blaming trip, of course, I started with the vendor, but found no ground to hold him accountable as I was the one that picked the shoes and packed them away into the bag. I tried blaming it on the poor lighting but realised that I must have made a rush and clearly not seen what I had picked. It was clearly my fault I just didn’t want to accept it.

The question that popped into my head then was; why did I want to pass the blame on to something or someone else? I guess I didn’t want to see myself as someone silly, always impulsive and never calming down to pay attention. I have been accused of that before and it’s something I have been working on. But was anything wrong in accepting that I could still be immature and act without thinking? Well I had to finally accept that somewhere in me there is still that silly, impetuous puerile girl and immediately I then called on the matured me to look for ways to fix the shoe issue. Sure enough, I rocked those shoes the next day occasionally dabbing the lighter one with water to darken it to match the second pair. Genius right?

I read somewhere that finding someone to blame (and then blaming them) may give us a substitute sensation for having solved a problem when we actually haven’t. This got me to understand that by always transferring blame, we are transferring control of the situation (of which the blaming occurred) to someone else which limits our abilities to learn from mistakes or overcome challenges thus making us weak. When we take the blame for certain circumstances that happen in our lives, we take responsibility which culminates in us becoming less helpless and passive.

This does not mean that we should hang the umbrella of doom over our heads and go about crying that everything is our fault. One has got to be objective in reasoning and balance it, blame others when it is obviously their fault so they could take responsibility and take the blame when you have a hand in it. This apparently helps to grow a person as mistakes are accepted and corrected so as not to be made again. Moreover, I don’t think it is necessary to append blame on everything and thus avoid the blaming game.

Thus, we should be conscious and get into the habit of admitting mistakes, forget about blaming and focus on resolving any problem at hand, one thing I realised is that blaming someone or something does nothing to solve a problem, it only breeds anger that could result in hurting others. Moreover, there is the factor of whining repeated while blaming others. I for an example have seen myself whining continually over whose fault it is and it didn’t help me in any way at all as it kept rousing my anger. Thinking about it now, I must have looked silly doing it. LOL.

Really, the blaming game does nothing to help anyone and we shouldn’t delve into it at all. Just as excuses are the tools of the incompetent, I have to say that transferring blame is a game for weaklings. I sure do not want to be a weakling and I bet you also don’t; so let’s be watchful and resist the urge to transfer blame. Let’s do this again next week.

 Jaa mata!

P.S. I do sincerely apologize for posting so late.