Fight or Flight: Learn how to deal with your fears before they deal with you
Living life in constant fear of the unknown, past experiences or failure can be draining. You don’t want to go through life feeling defeated and out of zest with little or no hope for tomorrow. Sounds extreme but fear is the absence of faith.
Beyond the fact that fear drains you it also limits your potentials. You can’t go beyond your fears. Don’t just string them along, decide to fight your fears – Those things that seem to be holding you back. Having said that, I’ll like to highlight a few causes of Fear;
PAST EXPERIENCE
You or a close family member may have been hurt before but that isn’t enough reason to expect that something similar will happen again. It happened once or twice doesn’t mean it is going to happen again. You will miss out on something great if you hang on to the fear of past experience(s). Always hope for the best irrespective of what circumstance you find yourself in.
THE UNKNOWN
Having the fear of the unknown is sometimes inevitable but when that fear limits you from trying something new then there is a challenge. I came across a picture this week that pointed out the fact that fear shows our lack of preparation and that it can be used to our advantage. The antidote to fear of the unknown is preparation.
When starting a business venture and you are scared of the unknown it is sometimes a pointer to the fact that you haven’t done your assignment well. Having the fear of the unknown when venturing into something new, like a business, is a good time for you to do an extensive market analysis, look for a mentor in that field and be adequately prepared/equipped.
FAILURE
The fear of failure can keep you from success. There is no success story without a failure story. Job in Job 3:25 said: “For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me.“
The fear of failure is similar to the fear of the unknown. The only difference between the fear of failure and the fear of the unknown is that the individual with the fear of failure may have concluded already that the outcome is a failure.
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I have had my fair share of fears. The first was as a result of past experience. Mine was so bad that it became a source of concern to my parents. At the age of 5 or 6, armed robbers came to my house, after that incident if anyone knocked on the door, I would run underneath the table. Whenever my mom wanted to open the door I would plead with her not to. My brothers once played a prank on me, in broad daylight while walking they screamed thief, even though I knew it was a lie, I just kept running. It continued for a while till I got over it.
The second time I had an encounter with thieves even though I was told to look down, I kept staring at them in the face. I had even noticed strange movements prior to the robbery and I thought about running but I realized that the money for the short trip was actually with me and anything could have happened if they asked my mom for money and she said she didn’t have any on her.
That day I had to face what I had feared for a long time. I was able to face my fears that day and I realized I wasn’t scared of them anymore (*Although I wouldn’t want any of such encounter anymore). After the incident, my mom, my brother and a family friend ran into an industry close by for safety but I and a school friend ran back to pick our belongings. When we finally settled down for the night my brother was still in shock but I was the laughing over the incident (*not that it wasn’t a sad experience tho – being robbed of your possession can be a very demeaning experience especially when you are at a disadvantage). Either way, I had finished eating all the chicken in the food before my brother snapped out of his shock.
At some point also I had fear of the dark (*I used to watch a lot of horror movies could have been as a result of that). Another fear I had was the fear of failure especially for a particular course in school (*a story for another day). I have had my fair share of fears but I also decided I wasn’t going to be limited by them and you can also decide not to be limited by your fears by following these short steps;
PRAY
For me, this is a way I have been able to overcome any and every of the fears I have had so far. My fear of darkness became so annoying and I kept holding on to 1John 4:18 – “…perfect love casts out fear…” I got frustrated when I noticed that the more I prayed the more the fear became pronounced but one day it was gone, I hadn’t even noticed it wasn’t there anymore.
IDENTIFY
Identify the source of your fear and you are one step away from eliminating your fear. I have had to sit and deal with a lot of my fears, once I am able to pinpoint where it is coming from, half of the time I am already over it.
PREPARE
Prepare for success so when the opportunity presents itself you will be ready. I noticed that the planning stage requires more work than the execution phase. The execution phase shows how well you have planned/prepared. Preparation eliminates the fear of failure.
CONFRONT
Don’t just talk about your fears. Confront them. Fear is simply False Evidence Appearing Real, so learn to counter your fears. They aren’t real. If you are afraid of heights, decided to travel and ask that you be placed by the window (*extreme times call for extreme measures). Learn to face your fears head on. That is one of the quickest ways to overcoming them.
Decide to conquer your fears today. Please leave a comment below 👇to encourage others struggling with fear in one area or the other.
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