Finding Love Again: Tips For Dating After Getting Hurt
The journey to meeting and marrying your God-ordained spouse is not the same for everyone. For some, it might be a smooth ride. And for others, a bumpy one.
Here, bumpy means that it might be filled with hurt, heartaches, confusion, lies, and even abuse. And when this happens, affected parties tend to lose hope in finding love again or begin to make hasty decisions, as it relates to their romantic relationships.
If you have ever been hurt or heartbroken due to a relationship, I just want you to know that this is not the end, or a reason to take quick actions. It is a painful experience, no doubt! Notwithstanding, know that God is working behind the scenes. That you gave your heart and time and it did not work out, simply means that God is orchestrating everything for your good. Trust Him!
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
Romans 8:28 NKJV
However, God working on our behalf does not imply that He likes when we hurt or we should be careless in our relationships. It is far from the truth.
Instead, it is that even in the hurts and disappointments, God is turning it to something that will work for us. Also, it is that God wants us to surrender to Him and trust Him to help us avoid making mistakes again.
With that said, I have curated a list of helpful tips for dating after pain or disappointed:
- Learn to trust and love again: Often, we miss out on great love stories because of previous heartbreaks. Just because your ex hurt you does not the next person will. Avoid projecting your past pain on the new person/relationship and learn to trust again.
- Learn from the pain: What are the things you would have done differently? What are the lessons? Is this a pattern? These are the questions to ask yourself when you are ready to take the leap again. With these retrospective questions, you gain clarity on your own actions and patterns and choose better next time.
- Practice self compassion: It is a norm that when things go south in a relationship, we tend to blame ourselves. In some cases, there are things that could have been done differently to avoid it. But most times, it is actually no one’s fault. In both cases, it is wise to practice self compassion and stop the blame game. This way, you are learning from your mistakes and being patient with yourself
- You can do hard things: Most breakups hurt so bad that you think you will never be okay or recover. That is false! It might take a while but you will definitely be okay. Hence, do not let the fear of hurt deprive you of experiencing love.
- Take things slow: Do not rush things or seem too available. Take things one step at a time. Know and protect your boundaries. By that, you are accountable to yourself and avoid intoxication from the start.
Love is a beautiful thing. And no matter how bumpy it might get, always choose love. Remembering that love always wins.
What's Your Reaction?
