An Introverts Guide To Making New Friends

Everyone needs friends! This is something you may have realised by now even as an introvert. Introverts get lonely and like normal people that they are, they need friends. They may not have as many friends or find it easy making friends like extroverts but undeniably as humans, they crave for meaningful friendships.

I am what you call an extroverted introvert.  This just means I have learned to adjust to different occasions as the need arises. If you are like me and you don’t like to try too hard to interact with others, meaningless and awkward conversations scare you but once you click with someone then you can comfortably chatter away. Most times I tend to go all out and end up feeling drained immediately as with any other extroverted introvert. We do not like crowded places or too many interactions in a day but we have learned to live with it. Irrespective of whatever name we choose to call ourselves at the end of the day we are just ‘introverts’, people who like to withdraw at the end of the day to our caves and just like everyone we seek friendships with people who get us and can learn to live with us.

I haven’t mastered the art of making friends, in fact, I prefer to stay home all day in my room either reading a book or writing. Yet, over the past couple of months because of a move to a new country, away from friends and family, I have been compelled to make friends and I can say I have made a ‘few’ friends since I moved. Emphasis on few because it is never about the number of friends. I would be sharing easy tips on how to make new friends, some I have tried,  others I am yet to try but I stumbled upon and I believe would be helpful and I may give a try soon.

1. Go Out

This can be the hardest part for an introvert – going out. Ever dressed to go out and as the time draws near you are back to the decision of whether to go out or not but closer to not. Well, that has been me several times. Find events that you can attend that way you get to meet people who are interested in the same activities that you are.

2. Tell friends to introduce you to new friends

This is the quickest and easiest way to make friends. Last year December I was in Texas for a friend’s commencement ceremony and she had five other friends that made similar trips and they became my friends too. You don’t have to wait for the same opportunity I had, ask your friends directly to introduce you to their friends.

3. Be interested, ask questions and remember the little details

If you couldn’t care less about making new friends, chances are that you won’t. You need to show the people who you meet that you are interested in being their friends. If people know that you are genuinely interested in them they would reciprocate, at least most of the time.  Be genuinely interested in getting to know them and how do you get to know them? By asking questions. Do not stop at asking questions, listen carefully and try to remember the little details.

4. Use social media/apps

Use social media. After all, it isn’t just called social media for nothing. It can be used to socialize with others. Send a message, comment on pictures, don’t be an onlooker. They are actual human beings, that need friends just like you. Strong friendships can start from social media. You may need to be wary of people on social media but there are good people like you and me that are open to building strong friendships and are not limited by the means. This method becomes more interesting for introverts as there would be no need to go out for them to meet new people. It is also a very interesting experience.

I recently stumbled on this app – meetup. You can find various types of meetups to attend in your area. There are several other apps that can be used. Take advantage of technology to make new friends.

5. Stay in touch

It is not just about meeting new people but in order to move from acquaintance zone to the friend zone, you need to stay in touch. It is very hard as an introvert to stay in touch. Making phone calls, going out seem to be burdensome for introverts but remember doing these things with friends can be rewarding.

See also: 15 Indoor & Outdoor Activities To Do With Friends

6. Rekindle old friendships

Why look too far? Try to rekindle old friendships that you lost by not staying in touch. Do not go about rekindling friendships that ended due to negativity or for good reasons. Old friendships sometimes are the sweetest. You can take it back to a place where it is like new. It is interesting because you both can talk about shared experiences and relate on a level other people can’t. Beyond that, they know you for the introvert that you are.

7. Move past the fear

What stops introverts from making new friends? It is usually the fear of being rejected or stepping out of their comfort zone.  Think about it this way, would you want to be a friend with you? I guess the answer is yes because introverts are comfortable with who they are. If you can be friends with yourself I bet there are a lot of people who would also want to be friends with you also. Wild guess. Try it out.

Finally, Introverts tend to fret over having conversations with new people and over conversations they have already had with people. Rather than fret over these little things that may or may not matter, enjoy the experience of meeting new people and bonding with them to build close knitted friendships.

Featured Image Credit: Dan Gold/Unsplash

How do you make new friends? Let us know in the comment section below.