When Life Seems Like It Is Hard

I have not written in a while but I felt this is something I must write about. We all have a fancy social media account and we are told to act strong, for some of us we have not even allowed ourselves to cry in a long time. Everyone seems to have it all figured out. However, I am here to tell you it is okay to not feel okay, it is okay to not have it figured out, it is okay to cry, it is okay to be You and everything will be okay in the end.

Everyone has had to deal with their own set of insecurities, times when they have felt down and times when they have felt alone, not close to what they should be if they would admit. Recently, I had a change of environment and almost immediately or a couple of days after, I had a lot of reactions on my face. This was not the first time this had happened to me. During my undergrad I had gone to have a facial and then afterward things were unleashed on my face that I never had, ever, that is why you really cannot drag me for facials, lolz, not even on my wedding day but I would prefer going to the dentist, what may possibly go wrong except a white shining teeth, that will just be great.

Okay, so during my undergrad I was quite conscious of what was going on at that time on my face, it was a change, I used to like being called fine gal no pimple but that identity was about to be stolen sadly. I tried everything to fix my face till my face that literally could take anything started rejecting almost everything. Well, in due time they left.

Fast forward to my change of environment story, big reddish things appeared on my face and I had to correct friends that it was not pimples, arrhhh. I called home, I almost did not go to church, trust me I am really not so crazy about my face or anything else that a lady should be crazy about but this hit me and it hit me well. One minute it was down another minute it would just come out everywhere. I couldn’t feel my face and at that point I was insecure, I started dodging people around. Makeup didn’t feel so good to apply anymore, came out bumpy. Then the sudden realization that if I had to deal with this my whole life then I may as well get used to it. Maybe they were not going to leave anytime soon, then I became comfortable in my skin, oh I really had to. I even decided that my face will be as bare as it was the day I was born apart from the facial cleanser I had to use. Then, I was almost pushed back to alarm when I showed someone a picture I had to take a few months ago and it looked like I was a clone, lolz. I wasn’t recognized at all. It could have been the braids though that caused the change in appearance.

Not like I haven’t had pimples or reactions before but this was quite different, I was in a new place and I didn’t want to be known as the girl with a rough face and for some reason, it just came at the wrong time. And when I have pimples or reactions, I usually know the reason, it could be the weave I had on, sleeping with makeup, menstruation (In case you didn’t notice that I am a lady)  but then I knew I didn’t know if it was my new found love for bagels that was causing this, I just didn’t know the reason for this and it got me upset and made me feel INSECURE.

So, I changed my approach and I learned a few things that I would like to share;

#1 I May Not Be Able To Fix This

Sometimes we may like to know where we are going and as human beings, we love being in control and we sometimes love when everything is perfect no external intrusion and if there is one we would love to know just what to do to fix it. Well, you just may not be able to fix it and maybe that is how it is meant to be. There is just one FIXER – Jesus.

#2 It Was A Passing Phase

The reactions came and the left completely, that I almost fear they may intrude once again, seeing they weren’t invited earlier. Either way, I am still here but they came and left. That reminds me of this quote “Life is in phases, men are in sizes!” Life is definitely in phases and it took a bunch of reactions to make me know that. Whatever it is, it is going to come and go, friends.

#3 Did Y’All See My Struggles on Social Media?

Lolz, trust me this really was not intentionally. Struggles are well hidden behind the lens. Okay, seriously, I may have magnified my situation a bit because when I thought it was so bad and I took a picture it wasn’t so bad and then when it was actually so bad as I talked about, I probably just didn’t feel like taking a picture. Why? We all like to display our perfect side of the world. Ain’t that just true! However, people learn more from the not so good side and someone is out there waiting to say “Oh, you went through that, me too”.

#4 People Probably Won’t Remember

So, yeah people I thought were conscious of my face may not even have noticed or would not even remember that I had a bunch of things chilling on my face. Friends who have told me things in confidentiality, may be a secret, I have honestly forgotten most of it, maybe others would not but then there are just a lot of things you may have said but I am so busy not keeping record of your imperfections that I honestly forget, really, especially the ones that I need to. It will be awkward if I do not. Although there are some I need to remember and I do. Just for the sake of helping ourselves through. However, you put yourself through so much stress, maybe when you start thinking “is this person judging me” or “They are taking note of my reactions or faults” etc and if they really are, you have no reason being around such people. I went to fellowship two weeks after I kept dodging and almost did not want to church, and a lady said “I was just staring at you in church, your dress was so lovely, you looked great I added the great part but I most definitely heard her say that. If I had caught her staring in church, I would have probably said she was looking at my face saying such a gross face.

Related Post: Getting Your Facts Right in Relationships

See Also

When What-Ifs Take Over: Three Key Thoughts to Regain Control

#5 My Trust Was Probably Not In The Right Place

Maybe I had put too much emphasis on my face without noticing, I would never know but one thing I know is my trust was not on God for a moment there. This may not really be the case for everyone but I got to know what was and isn’t important to me. I got to know who to trust so much and is always constant. If friends leave me, he won’t. When I have reactions, he is constant. When I am down spiritually, he is constant.

We may not always have it all right, forget what you see on social media. We may have our down times, life may seem hard but we keep reminding ourselves of who matters the most, cry if you must but it is all about focusing on who really matters, that is why it seems some have it together, they know it is a passing phase and they know who has it all in control. When Life seems hard, remember; THERE IS GOD.

No, you didn’t just read that “There is God o”!

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